Building Islamic Character Through Friendship with The Salihin (Righteous)
Having righteous friends to keep company with and gatherings of the Salihin (righteous people) to attend are perfect catalysts for us to improve ourselves and build Islamic Character. Humans are social creatures, born with the inclination to interact with others. A human interacts with their family first before all else, which largely influences the formation of their character. Next, they interact with people outside their family; friends at school, neighbors, co-workers, and so on. From the many people they meet, some of them may become close friends. People may become close friends by sharing a strong emotional connection and similar worldviews. They may have commonalities with regard to what they consider important in life. This similarity in worldviews will turn their friendship into a powerful driving force in their personal growth. Arguably even more powerful than what they'd get from their family.
Old tales of the very first Muslims are the most famous and accurate examples of this, how their friendship with the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) brought improvements to their character. People who were once idol worshippers, killers of innocent female babies, racists, cheats, and fought amongst themselves, joined the ranks of the Salihin (righteous). Furthermore, they took on characteristics of honesty, ihsan (pure goodness) and tawadhu’ (humility). They came to believe in the One and Only God with guidance from the Prophet Muhammad PBUH.
From the example above, we can see that friendship with theSalihin will greatly improve one's personal growth toward a better moral and spiritual path.
Commands To Befriend Good/Salih People
In the Qur'an, Allah Ta'ala says:
وَٱصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِٱلْغَدَوٰةِ وَٱلْعَشِىِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُۥ ۖ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۖ وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُۥ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَٱتَّبَعَ هَوَىٰهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُۥ فُرُطًا (الكهف ٢٨:١٨)
"Keep yourself patient with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His pleasure, and let not your eyes turn away from them, seeking the splendor of the worldly life. And do not obey the one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance, and who has followed his desire and whose behavior has exceeded the limits." (Q. 18:28)
In this verse, Allah indicates that we should befriend the good people, those who pray to Him in morning and evening simply to seek his acceptance. We must note that Allah Ta'ala's command here begins with “keep yourself patient”. The is an indication that whatever we do in this worldly life, in hopes of His acceptance, often is not easy. For example, in business, there are ethics and sharia (religious laws) to follow. In the household, there are huquq (interpersonal rights) and obligations to adhere to. To be faithful and consistent in fulfilling those commands, we need supporters and motivators, which would be friends who are Salih.
Prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him said:
الرَّجُلُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ
"Man is upon the religion of his friend, so you should be careful who you take as your friend." (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan)
The Importance of Attending the Majalis (Congregational Gatherings) of the Salihin
Majalis, having the singular form majlis, are gathering places and settings for studying and remembering Allah. Nowadays, it is harder and harder to find people who set aside special time to gather and bring themselves closer to Allah. Such as the early Muslims and Sufis did, in the ancient tales we read about. However, they do exist and we must seek them out. It is incredibly important to find a community that supports and motivates us in carrying out the Islamic way of life. We find this in the Majalis (congregations) of Salihin. These communities and gatherings provide friendship, foster Silaturahmi (strengthening of relationships) with relatives, neighbors, and enjoin us in perform other societal services. In living such a life, it becomes difficult to be consistent in practicing morals and the Islamic way of life.
Sayyid Bakri Al-Makki, the writer of Kifayatul Atqiya wa Minhajul Ashfiya, describes the benefits of attending the Majalis of Salihin as paraphrased below:
"Sitting with the Salihin is medicine for the heart. Their majalis motivate you to follow them in actions, words, and spiritual states. It pushes you to be dissatisfied with stations below what they possess so you are encouraged and urged to be like them or better than them. This brings about happiness and spiritual progress. And what is meant by Salihin are those who fulfill the rights of God and His servants."
So, in summary, befriending and keeping company with the Salihin and siting in the majalis is one of the best ways to cultivate and nurture and Islamic Character which is what Muslims should all aspire to. Being a Muslim by name or culture is not enough. We must embody Islamic morals, manners and characteristics in all facets of our lives.
